I don’t know if it is my age, the season, current challenges…all of the above…none of the above…whatever ‘it’ is, I have really been reflecting on my life, myself, my family. I know where I have been, but where do I want to go from here? I am ready to let go of all of the things that, for lack of a better word, bother me. I am realizing that I can’t just ‘forget’ some things…and that I really never wanted to. You can’t hide from who you are.
I was telling my darling husband about…something I can’t recall right now…but the point is, I said “I’m staring 40 right in the eyes” & his response was “we’re not staring it down, we’ve been running from it and now it is just catching up with us”. See, that’s why I’m married to him…his point of view…always makes me laugh. We’re not turning 40 this year, but it is gaining on us quickly (he’s like 2 months older than me & I really like that about him). He probably doesn’t realize it, but that statement was pretty deep…it makes me think about all of the other things I’ve been running from that are catching up. You can’t run from who you are.
So, I am who I am. I channel many personalities…depending on what I’m doing…sometimes I channel my Grannie, sometimes my Mom, sometimes Paula Deen, sometimes Martha Stewart, sometimes Jane Lynch, sometimes Chris Fowler (I just wanna sit next to Kirk Herbstreit…well & get paid to talk about football). I’m no Tara, there is only one version of me running around. I’m no Nurse Jackie, I pretty much tell everyone way more than they want to know about myself…definitely no deep, dark secrets lurking. All I’m saying is I think I have really ‘found’ who I am on several levels, I am happy with who I am, and I just wanna be me. If I want to throw a modern-ish accessory in with my mostly traditional decor…I’m gonna do it. If I cook in an apron on a regular basis, I’m not gonna be ashamed of it. I had a ‘real-life career’. I have the hardest job I’ve ever had, but it is the most rewarding…and it has allowed me to really find myself. I like where I am…and really excited about where I’m going.
Today’s secret revealed…if my husband read this, he would totally roll his eyes…and if he had a blog, it would be HI-larious…if you know him, you know that ‘darling husband’ is supposed to be funny ;).